Anti - Houndstooth

NEIL BARRETT EMBARRASSES

2011-12-21T11:57:00.000-08:00

One of my heroes peppered his 2012 Spring/Summer collection in houndstooth. Thanks for ruining christmas.

Gareth Puke

2010-09-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

I'm continually frustrated by the accolades Gareth Pugh receives for his work. Not because I find his fashion particularly bad (although it is damn unwearable) but because of his insistence on the black and white check in a smashed mirror look. It is houndstooth through the looking glass and its time has come... and gone. It's like piecing together scraps from the floor of the dressing rooms of an Alice in Wonderland set that have first been eaten and passed by chickens. If you need that much black and white in your life... go play Go.

McQueen Fish Lure

2010-08-23T14:57:00.001-07:00

I wish there was more fashion in fishing.

Houndstooth Photobomb

2010-06-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

Once you become aware of it the houndstooth dress in the background pops out like a dart in the eye. Thanks once again to K. at Vélo Vogue for pointing out this shot from Bart's photostream. Burn Paris Burn!

Feininger's Houndstooth

2010-06-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

Feininger's houndstooth cigarette. Burn skirt burn!

Houndstooth Bicycle Bell

2010-05-31T09:36:00.000-07:00

Houndstooth, the bell tolls for thee. Ding. Ding.

Houndstooth Cycle

2010-05-17T12:12:00.000-07:00

A sick raincoat on Cycle Chic. Sick! Thanks to Kristin at VeloVogue for pointing this one out. Sick!

Houndstooth Stationery Set

2010-05-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

The houndstooth trend continues its tireless surge into 2010 with an army of houndstooth pockmarked products including this stationery set by Capri Designs. Have mercy!!!

Houndstooth Briefs

2010-04-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

Candid Underwear brings the world houndstooth briefs to complete the male houndstooth fetishists wardrobe. A review of them at underwearnewsbriefs.com gives them an overall 4.8 out of 5 rating. They have obviously done their research: "It is an amazing blend of cotton and spandex, offering a nice combination of strength and stretch."

Houndstooth Card

2010-04-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

It's all too much! Just focus on the nails.

iPad Houndstooth Case

2010-04-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

iPad case in soul-destroying grey and black houndstooth. All the light in my universe has just been sucked out by a powerful vacuum of blandness. Available on Amazon.

Houndstooth Zone

2010-04-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my nightmare! A room decorated entirely in houndstooth! You can get houndstooth wall stencils at the Cutting Edge Stencils site. I guarantee that within a matter of days of living in that world you will go COMPLETELY INSANE!!! Just like what happened to this poor girl:

Skullcandy Houndstooth Headphones

2010-04-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

No no no no no!!!! Please don't try to coordinate the speakers to the music with these Skullcandy houndstooth headphones. That is just sick!!!

McQueen Houndstooth Boots

2010-04-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

McQueen still haunting from the grave. Here is a photo of McQueen thigh highs from a spread in Dazed and Confused, courtesy of the scrumptious Booted Up blog which tracks boot fashion and 'celebs in boots' sightings.

Prada Houndstooth

2010-03-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

Prada's Spring/Summer 2010 menswear collection is certainly espousing the houndstooth contagion. And stills from Yang Fudong's "First Spring", a Prada commissioned short which resembles a frigid and neutered re-imagining of Robbe Grillet, are being used for the menswear print campaign. Sick.

Future Houndstooth

2010-03-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

Some hype surrounding NADA's 3-D film fashion show which features model avatars in some videogame scenario selecting clothing from NADA's new line before battling it out in Mortal Combat style. Apparently houndstooth is featured. No image yet but I'll be digging.

I'm sure it can't beat Tron Legacy though, which looks suspiciously like the old changing rooms at cyberdog.

Weretooth

2010-03-25T10:28:00.001-07:00

Claude Rains stands beside some random guy in a houndstooth jacket in 1941's The Wolf Man. And I thought nothing could be scarier than Lon Chaney Jr.'s acting.

Beyonce Houndstooth

2010-03-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

Another one of my heroines falls prey to houndstooth's temptations. Beyonce wearing McQueen at the New Jersey Nets stadium. I wouldn't want that on my ♪♪ video phone ♪♪.

Houndstooth Bike Accident

2010-03-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

Vélo Vogue documents further houndstooth atrocities on the streets of San Francisco. Car door. Ooops!

I've been seeing this macro houndstooth jacket everywhere recently!

Gaultier Houndstooth

2010-03-08T16:20:00.000-08:00

Here comes another platform for the houndstooth dishtowel pattern. Jean Paul Gaultier's Fall 2010 RTW. This compendium of world fashion dances dangerously close to a tired school textbook, saved only by the occasional stunning revelation. With an abundance of odd color and pattern choices better suited to IKEA children's bedroom furniture the collection feels noisy and disjointed. It's as if Gaultier has thrown everything into the pot without letting it stew long enough to reduce the ingredients into a cohesive whole. Hideous gimmicks abound, like this disturbing head which I have seen staring up at me from the center of a toilet bowl in some of my worst mezcal induced nightmares.

Consistently fantastic thigh-highs though.

Monica's McQueen Dedication

2010-03-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

Sultry Monica worships McQueen in her latest video for the track "Everything to Me". I have to admit, with great reluctance, the houndstooth dress is incredible. Although its shelf-life concerns me. I can already see Norma Desmond wearing it while Erik Von Stroheim chauffeurs her around in a decaying 1929 Isotta Fraschini Tipo 8A Castagna Transformable.

Trussardi 1911 Houndstooth

2010-03-02T11:26:00.000-08:00

Designer Milan Vukmirovic is hard at work keeping the houndstooth trend's head above water. Suzy Menkes reports on the new collection which features the clown pants pictured above. And the bulbous chamber pot hat.

Miga Houndstooth

2010-03-01T09:43:00.000-08:00

My fave Olympic mascot Miga betrayed me by endorsing this houndstooth winter jacket that popped up in the tourist shops along Water Street. And after I carried and protected her through the mad multitude of Olympic fans and introduced her to Patron and a handsome polar bear! Bad killer-whale-bear-thing!

And just to add another dash of bitterness, that wasn't the only betrayal taking place during the games. Derrick O'Keefe summed it up in his commentary in the Georgia Straight.

Black and Gold Houndstooth

2010-02-26T14:12:00.000-08:00

My black and gold fetish hits a houndstooth wall with these Converse hi-tops.
Details at Sneakerhead News.

Houndstooth Heart

2010-02-25T16:15:00.000-08:00

Break a heart into a thousand tiny houndstooth pieces.

One of the many rubber stamps from Impress.

Nicole Kidman Houndstooth

2010-02-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

With an outfit like that this L'Uomo Vogue cover should have been titled "Crazy Women" not "Crazy for Women". Nicole Kidman has taken on some brilliant and risky roles in the past but nothing as outlandish as this Chaplin meets houndstooth diaper fiasco.

Thanks to D for the recon on this one.

Lizard Brooch Horror

2010-02-17T09:26:00.000-08:00

What is with the lizard brooch? I have to admit that whenever I see one I'm repulsed. No offense to lizards but I wouldn't want one scurrying up my lapel. They are agents of decay like worms and insects. They remind me of dutch still life paintings of rotting fruit. So my apologies to the lady on the bus this morning. My horrified stare wasn't entirely directed towards you. It was more for your lizard.

Houndstooth Cupcake

2010-02-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

Butch Bakery is a New York bakery whose mission is to produce "manly cupcakes, for manly men". This includes the "B-52", a "kahlua-soaked madagascar cake with bailey's bavarian filling" which is topped with camouflage. I don't know if Bailey's and Kahlua are really manly flavors. I would have preferred an iris gin and mezcal based cream myself. Maybe that's what's in the houndstooth cupcake they also sell.

Megan Fox Houndstooth

2010-02-15T09:59:00.000-08:00

Megan Fox sports Armani houndstooth on the March cover of W Magazine. We all have our bad fashion covers. Even the flawless.

♪♪ Hang the stylist ♪♪
♪♪ Hang the stylist ♪♪

Houndstooth Olympics

2010-02-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

SEC football isn't the only sport to have embraced houndstooth. I'll be tracking the houndstooth pattern during these next few weeks to see how it creeps up in winter athletic fashions. And from the archives: a stern Estonian coach in threatening houndstooth.

Your Houndstooth Valentine

2010-02-12T10:35:00.000-08:00

Alyssa and Joslyn at Jane Joss have created this Valentine's Day plant for houndstooth lovers. It requires no soil and no water. It thrives on misery and tears.

McQueen Dead 1969 - 2010

2010-02-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

After all those nasty things I said. Houndstooth can't even be talked about without some reference to McQueen. Fashion lovers and goths will be tolling the bells. He joins Mishima in the Elysium fields reserved for eccentric genius. Fashion has lost its cutting edge.

Houndstooth Virus by General Idea

2010-02-10T12:46:00.000-08:00

One of General Idea's crests from the 1985 installation The Armory of the Miss General Idea Pavillion at the Art Gallery of Ontario. This crest is called "Houndstooth Virus". Glorious!!

L.A.M.B. PVC Houndstooth Bag

2010-02-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Trust L.A.M.B. to continue its houndstooth crusade with this shocker of an 80's retro stylings of a bag. Something you might have worn with your parachute pants while out shopping for Duran Duran records. The "acid" fading makes it look like it has been sitting on a trash heap since the 80s and only recently creatively repurposed with a seatbelt for a strap. $175 at ShopBop.

Taylor Momsen Houndstooth Reaper

2010-02-03T14:40:00.001-08:00

Spotted, Taylor Momsen houndstoothing it on the set of Gossip Girl. Watch out little J, the grim reaper called and he wants his vestments back. You know you love me. XOXO.

Houndstooth Jesus

2010-01-14T14:56:00.000-08:00

I guess sooner or later it was obvious that houndstooth fever would fuse with religious iconography to create some hyper-surreal imagery.

From the Speaking Tees website:

"The Baker Family introduces their own merchandise of creative Biblical imagery and symbolism for t-shirts. Yes, that might be a mouthful, but their intentions are to fill and uplift your spirit! Knowing that the Bible speaks to everyone differently, they have purposefully created Speaking Tees to speak to YOU!"

Hence the "Houndstooth Jesus" t-shirt below. Which essentially says to me... "Rasputin?".

Houndstooth Stamper

2010-01-12T15:08:00.000-08:00

WTF! It's all I can muster. WTF!!!!! Why would you need a stamper that stamps houndstooth. Unless maybe you were tagging in the stairwell of Dover Street Market. Or leaving enigmatic clues on some grim trail of argento style bloody carnage. I could totally see a leather clad glove carrying this and a straight razor around on a crime spree. A slash and stamp. What would you possibly use this for!! And why would I feel so angry about it?!! Crap. No wonder the world is crumbling. When we invest all our ingenuity, effort, and materials into manufacturing things like this! And then provoking other people to waste time blogging about it!!!!

Sean Lewis Does Houndstooth

2010-01-11T12:21:00.000-08:00

New York artist Sean Lewis dallying with houndstooth. Another example of an artist fascinated enough by the pattern to provocatively squeeze and mutilate it while seeking something more than its straightforward and insipid mathematics. Good work.

Keri Hilson Houndstooth Hobo Sack

2010-01-11T10:13:00.001-08:00

Keri Hilson at the Georgia GRAMMY Nominee Reception in Atlanta. She's carrying one of the previously profiled McQueen sacks which looks like it's made of materials left over from shredded houndstooth dresses he couldn't sell.

And this top view of the bag only reaffirms the allusions to the Alien movie franchise that are appearing in his latest works.

Bama wins 37-21 Over Texas

2010-01-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

Houndstooth fans will be celebrating Alabama's victory over Texas at the Rose Bowl. This will mean a huge spike in SEC houndstooth caps and panties.

Ashlee Simpson Does Houndstooth

2009-12-31T11:18:00.000-08:00

Another Ashlee robed in fashion's scabies. This is not the first times she's been tracked in the enemy pattern. For a further barrage of celeb houndstooth visit Fashion In Motion's blog entry on the houndstooth trend. More houndstooth than you can chuck a molotov cocktail at.

And then buy me this hot Ben Sherman tie and jacket also profiled on the blog. Do eeeet!

Ashley Greene Does Houndstooth

2009-12-31T10:56:00.000-08:00

Twlight's Alice leaving LAX wrapped in a rug-like houndstooth sweater with a better dressed boyfriend in hand.

Portable Drying Rack

2009-12-29T09:45:00.000-08:00

The blog You Want Me To Wear What? killed a certain Patterson J. Kincaid Houndstooth Print "Jenny" Dress calling it a blanket of repurposed houndstooth scarves. It's nice to see someone else heckling houndstooth for a change. If you want to look like you are wearing the entrails of a parrotfish this portable drying rack dress is available at bloomingdale's for $128.

Kitty's Worst Nightmare

2009-12-21T09:44:00.000-08:00

As if being photographed with a wig wasn't humiliating enough for a cat. While modelling for the new book Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs they force this sad cat to wear a houndstooth deerstalker.

Revenge will be sweet.

Rihanna's Houndsooth

2009-12-19T10:02:00.000-08:00

A CNN "style evolution" profile of Rihanna's transition from cute schoolgirl to sultry sex bomb includes a houndstooth photo from a 2006 Mets game. And below is a photo of her channeling Brando in a houndstooth biker jacket. And... wait a minute! She's wearing my Dad's watch!

And she continues to love the houndstooth trend with her advice to women in a More! Magazine interview: “This winter I am loving houndstooth, lace, silk. I would say always wear some sexy lingerie under your clothes".

You can stand under my umbrella... of shame!

Houndstooth Holiday Gift

2009-12-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

This morning I received a holiday gift from my tailor. The irony. I feel the walls closing in. It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. All these people trying to seed me with the enemy pattern. Trying to make me join fashion's borg.

"Look, you fools, you're in danger! Can't you see?! They're after you! They're after all of us! Our wives, our children, everyone! THEY'RE HERE, ALREADY! YOU'RE NEXT!"

Houndstooth Face Off

2009-12-11T12:49:00.000-08:00

The Allie is Wired blog has a fashion face off between Penelope Cruz and Dita von Teese. Neither wins. This McQueen dress looks like it's cut from a picnic tablecloth. Bring on the potato salad and the KFC 20 piece bucket of dirty bird.

Gossip Girl Houndstooth Falter

2009-12-08T15:49:00.000-08:00

New York Mag's ongoing tracking of Gossip Girl includes a good chip at Blair Waldorf's McQueen houndstooth top in Season 3 Episode 12 calling it "two years and a continent too late."

And then FabSugar has to go ahead and celebrate it.

The Great Houndstooth Conspiracy

2009-11-25T06:59:00.000-08:00

The internet is awash in twisted thoughts on about every single thing that a human being can possibly imagine. These radical ideas can copulate to produce hideous theories and malformations such as this blog. Often in this war effort against the growing menace of houndstooth I feel like a voice in the wilderness who cries out in vain. So it is always nice to touch base with other individuals out there who have independently come to similar conclusions about the enemy pattern.

A comrade-in-arms over at thealmightyguru.com is also just as confused about the houndstooth plague and promotes a stunning new theory regarding its otherworldy origins. Behold The Great Houndstooth Conspiracy

We've seen his subversions before in a post several months back and it is good to see he is still actively chipping away a the foundations of the houndstooth empire.

My theory on houndstooth is a little bit different though. I believe that through particle collision research at CERN, just before being engulfed in a black hole of our own creation, we will discover the Higgs boson scalar elementary particle is shaped like houndstooth. As we are all stretched and shattered into a trillion tiny pieces and sucked through the gaping maw of oblivion people will have just a fraction of a second to flash the thought "Why didn't we listen to the anti-houndstooth warning!" before being redistributed in the great stew of the infinite cosmos.

Houndstooth Furnishings

2009-11-24T06:25:00.000-08:00

I move into a new apartment this weekend so I've been busy investigating furniture and interior design ideas. It seems every store has at least one token houndstooth item. Design Hole (somehow that sounds dirty) is a handy interior design blog that happens to feature a houndstooth resource page with hints on where to find houndstooth furniture.

What I can't get over is the diversity of houndstooth items out there. Take this unfortunate houndstooth zebra rug by Jonathan Adler. More cruel than the real deal.

And this hideous lamp from Bed Bath & Beyond whose colors safely match your apartment's used wound dressings. Shudder!

Some people have commented that my distate for houndstooth hides a deep fetish for the pattern and that I will eventually fill my apartment with houndstooth related items. If so it is this sick world that drove me to it.

Dita Von Teese Houndstooth

2009-11-22T13:01:00.000-08:00

Dita Von Teese does the full houndstooth deal circa September 2007. I've always been a bit cautious regarding her style. She's like a porcelain doll you find in a grandmother's house. Pale, artificial and somehow asexual. Even when she's stripping. It's like she's made of chalk.

Dustin Curtis Coach Bryant

2009-11-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

A fantastic oil of Coach Bryant and his houndstooth fedora by the artist Dustin Curtis.

Kim Kardashian Houndstooth

2009-11-18T12:43:00.000-08:00

Another celeb documented in the enemy pattern. Kim Kardashian does a houndstooth scarf. Circa September 2008.

Vivienne Westwood Anglomania Selfridges Show

2009-11-17T16:23:00.000-08:00

Selfridges garage played host to Vivienne Westwood's Anglomania fashion show yesterday. The Dame was snapped beside a houndstooth infested Nicola Roberts.

Kristian Donaldson Houndstooth

2009-11-16T12:30:00.000-08:00

Kristian Donaldson is an illustrator who blogs over at ProdigalNine. He's responsible for some pretty sexy comic work including stuff in DMZ and Fallen Angel. His illustration is brilliant so I'm sure he'll eventually come to terms with his houndstooth follies and reject the pattern completely. But for now we'll have to put up with it as it's splashed all over his website's banner. Have mercy Kristian!

Bugatti Bungle

2009-11-16T10:47:00.000-08:00

There's only one thing I hate more than houndstooth. And that would be crashing my $2 million dollar bugatti in a saltwater lagoon.

And now there is video of the crash.

Dead and Buried

2009-11-14T12:52:00.000-08:00

Those still wearing houndstooth are dead to fashion. But if you must you can still buy it at West Side Lacrosse.

Sketch of a Houndstooth Sophisticate

2009-11-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

Cuppycakegumdrops over on Etsy put together some nice little instructions on concocting a houndstooth wardrobe. I just like her drawing of the houndstooth sophisticate. Especially the beagle which at first I thought was crying. She does profile a cute "catstooth" tie by Toybreaker though. Hundreds of tiny waving cats make up the houndstooth.

Emanuel Ungaro on Lyndsay Lohan

2009-11-11T13:12:00.001-08:00

More sadness for this Lohan fan. Emanuel Ungaro has spoken out about her repulsive collection for the Ungaro house calling it "a disaster" and stating the company he sold in 2005 was “well on its way to losing its soul". More at thehollywoodgossip.com . Lyndsay, time to feed him some Kalteen bars!

Houndstooth Stripper

2009-11-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

Houndstooth has even infiltrated the stripper scene! Is nothing sacred! God's best argument against the burka here wearing a houndstooth exotic mini and top from the "Hussy Store".

Pakistan Fashion Week

2009-11-10T14:05:00.000-08:00

In what was described as a "gesture of defiance to the Taliban" the city of Karachi managed to kick off the first ever Pakistan Fashion Week which had already been rescheduled twice due to fear of fundamentalist threats. No sign of houndstooth which can only indicate a success!

McQueen's Fall Ad

2009-10-30T14:34:00.001-07:00

I'm waiting for Meg White to suddenly zoom in from the centre.

Houndstooth Mafia

2009-10-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

One from the archives. A houndstooth Bugsy Siegel plotting your hit.

Blake Lively Does Houndstooth

2009-10-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

Nooooooooooooooo!

So much for my crush on Blake Lively.

Alexander McQueen's Supervillain Costumes

2009-10-20T19:44:00.001-07:00

This McQueen jacket, as wicked as it is, could just as well have been peppered in ampersands or right and left braces. He's skating dangerously close to Riddler territory.

Kid Robot Houndstooth Tees

2009-10-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

I followed up on those Kid Robot tees after accidentaly running in to them at Boys Co. in 'couver. It was a bizarre shocker to find them in a store that used to carry John Richmond and K. But now you can have a houndstooth t-shirt to wear when playing with your Kid Robot dinky toys.

Desperate Hound

2009-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

You can tell by the desperation in its eyes that this hound is no fan of its houndstooth harness.

J'Accuse Chicago!

2009-10-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

More pics coming in from the rampant houndstooth plague sweeping across Chicago's fashion community. A deadly pox that exhibits a festering mesh of four-pointed-shapes and fractured checks. As these two pictures sent in by a very concerned anti-houndstooth advocate indicate, the patterned pustules can occur anywhere on the human body including the hips, thighs, and the throat. Do not approach the infected. There is nothing you can do to help them. They are lost to you. Simply raise your hand and block them from your site.

Junya Watanabe Gets In On The Houndstooth Action

2009-10-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

Another success at Paris fashion week has all the critics raving and stampeding to celebrate the Junya Watanabe's Spring/Summer 2010 collection. All I see is a hideous series of outfits for mimes. The above as an example with its houndstooth jacket and mummified toddler for a hat!?! She looks like she's on her way to a Dr. Who convention or a dadaist's ball.

Since houndstooth has received the blessings of Watanabe and Gaultier in Paris it looks like houndstooth will continue to dominate 'til Spring/Summer 2010! I think sooo much is invested in the pattern now we are in a cycle of perpetuation from which we may never be freed.

R.I.P. Lindsay Lohan

2009-10-06T09:56:00.001-07:00

R.I.P. Lindsay Lohan.

July 2nd, 1986 to Emmanuel Ungaro Show, Spring/Summer 2010.

Even Army & Navy wouldn't touch this collection. I hope this means a possible sequel to I KNOW WHO KILLED ME is in the works. It's one of my all time favorite WTF! movies.

Lindsay, it's not you babe. It's just the curse of your houndstooth follies. Repent and be forgiven.

Anna Sui's Houndstooth Jacquard Dress

2009-10-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

Anna Sui's kickass "Gossip Girl" inspired line for Target includes, alas, houndstooth. I'm on the fence. But I can possibly stomach the houndstooth in this number because I find Sui's opium den stylings such a turn on. The front is awesome with its shades of Japanese Goth Lolita but by the time Sui gets to the back of the dress it looks like the inspired design has exhausted itself. You get a somewhat boxy and dull shoulder and waist akin to a kit Halloween costume and the polyester/rayon material looks like it lacks a bit of class. But it's only $69 bucks!!! I'll take two.

Kid Robot Chicago Museum of Art

2009-10-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

Houndstooth's desperate attempt to penetrate the membrane of the high art world. Someone just sent in this Kid Robot tee hanging on the rack in the Chicago Museum of Contemporary Art's gift shop. Plus a houndstooth umbrella for sale. Houndstooth trying to sneak its way in past the Magrittes and Redons? No dice!

Houndstooth in the Real World

2009-10-02T09:18:00.001-07:00

An astounding houndstooth combo including polka dots and tiger stripes courtesy of the Second Life fashion blog It's Only Fashion. It's far better than a Master Chief Halo hoodie from Ecko. I wonder how resistant that hoodie is to a Covenant Carbine. I bet it goes up in flames. I'd rather wear the houndstooth and stripes to an off-world battlefield.

Halloween Houndstooth

2009-10-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

Old Navy orange and black flip flops. Are we going to see this color houndstooth creeping up just in time for halloween?

The Good, the Plaid, and the Ugly

2009-09-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

Speaking of plaid. It's that fall time of year again when everyone starts talking about the imminent return of plaid.

It's a fine line.

I love Chanel's meticulous plaids. They are always careful to balance the pattern with the distinctive design of the item and its silhouette. These boots have such class and remain completely modern. As close as plaid gets to elegance.

And here's Kristen Stewart's casual plaid with its anti-bling integrity.

Contrast Kristen with Shia, lost and confused in airport security, making his plaid choice look like a desperate cry for taste.

And Beckham as the anti-matter to Shia's street filth.

So there!

Tweed Ride Houndstooth Peek

2009-09-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

Vélo Vogue busy keeping up with the San Fran Tweed Ride captures a few incriminating photos of houndstooth among the anachronistic fashions. I love this guy caught sneaking a peek. He's either horrified about the houndstooth skirt or pleasantly surpised by what's under it. Always be suspicious of men in argyle socks!

Houndstooth Beer

2009-09-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

You can mess with my tea but do you really have to mess with my beer?! Maybe this is style's way of telling me I have to cut back.

Tori Spelling's Mommywood Houndstooth Curtains

2009-09-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

This is not an appropriate environment for a child. And I'm not talking about Tori Spelling or Hollywood. I'm talking about the houndstooth curtains.

Houndstooth's Fall Abundance

2009-09-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

Couture Carrie has collected an impressive scrapbook of the coming autumn blitzkrieg. Houndstooth permutation after houndstooth permutation to shake us to the very foundations of good taste. Above is a Peter Jensen number with an obnoxious yellow and grey houndstooth fighting with Mrs. Claus' red skirt. The girl looks like the village idiot dressed as a thrift store Thracian dancer. And not to dwell on McQueen but she's also included his unreasonable leggings for those who want to look like they have a congenital leg deformity. Putting a pattern like that on legs like those is like scrubbing out the Giaconda's smile with steel wool and turpentine.

Preen's Houndstooth Onslaught

2009-09-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

Mama's a Rolling Stone had this great collage of Preen's Fall RTW Houndstooth onslaught. My mom ran over a turtle with a tractor lawnmower by accident once. It came out the other end looking quite a lot like one of these dresses. Only with a little more blood. I love the eye makeup on the model wearing the fur collared jacket. She looks like she swallowed a jar of thumbtacks she was so embarrassed to walk the stage in that stupid jacket. These dresses don't even care about the bodies inside them. They are just preposterous strips of houndstooth that derive any attention they receive by the mere fact that they are preposterous strips of houndstooth. It's like being hit over the head with a space shuttle.

Here's another one. Looks like she stepped into the Telepod with Brundelfly and ruined her perfectly nice dress. All this jamming scraps of different sized and patterned houndstooth together is absurd. Just like that crappy McQueen houndstooth hobo sack.

Alexander McQueen Store Display

2009-09-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

Fab Sugar captured McQueen's window display during New York's fashion week. I must admit it is quite arresting. The model is shockingly defiant considering the pillow case pinned to her throat, the pustular lips close to bursting, and the sack of rotting garbage precariously balanced on her head. The base of the dress looks like the queen alien's egg sack. God I'd love to torch it with Ripley's grenade gun.

Swirly Houndstooth Cap

2009-09-15T10:23:00.000-07:00

And here's Vélo Vogue's guilty Kristin caught in the act with her new houndstooth cap she picked up at Virgin Mary's on her Vancouver vacation. The caps fine... but purple houndstooth! I've seen this swirly houndstooth around town and it's got a bit of a hippy edge to it. Must fight it all the more!!!

Vélo Vogue's Bike Boy Stalker

2009-09-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

The stalkers over at Vélo Vogue, "Where the bike lane meets the runway", take candid photographs of rider fashions. And they recently managed to catch a snap of boy with a tan, houndstooth satchel - above. Kristin's going to be attending the SF tweed ride soon and her errand is to pick up some more houndstooth snaps. Or at least some groovy tweed. Good luck Miss bike boy stalker! And don't let anyone tell you taking photos of boys on bikes is creeeeeepy!!! ;)

Dogtooth Style

2009-09-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

Terry Richardson in Purple's Fall/Winter 2009. This is how houndstooth spreads.

Alabama Bike Jerseys Rejected

2009-09-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently there are limits to Alabama's insane devotion to the houndstooth pattern. According to The Crimson White these bike jerseys developed for the University's Alabama Cycling Club were rejected by the University trademark office which only allows the combination of houndstooth with the University's iconic "A" logo for football related items. After the mad size of the giant houndstooth hat it's good to know the University isn't about to let things go too far.

Coach Bryant's Infernal Legacy

2009-09-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

A shot of the giant houndstooth hat as they prepared to lift it in place above the concession stand at the Bryant-Denny Stadium in Alabama in 2008. What an infernal houndstooth legacy! But the man was sharp. Football's dandy. I just wish he'd been more partial to herringbone.

McQueen's Houndstooth Hobo Sack

2009-08-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

As usual The Purse Blog is dead on with this assessment of the Alexander McQueen houndstooth tote:

"I understand the intent behind this bag, and it’s brave of designers to try and play with pattern and proportion in avant garde ways. Just because it’s brave doesn’t mean it works"

This sack should be on the end of a long stick over the shoulder of a hobo nomad. It looks like it has been crafted entirely from the shreds of inner jacket linings found at the scene of several catastrophic highway collisions. It's a rag doll of a bag desperately following that McQueen Fall/Winter 2009 RTW junk pile thesis. It shoots straight from the tip.

Ben Sherman Houndstooth

2009-08-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

Arthur Bernard Sugarman's legacy is under attack by a misguided campaign to glorify houndstooth and associate it with the brand's pseudo-mod sensibilities. We've been seeing houndstooth in Ben Sherman clothing since the beginning but recent boutique and department store displays are peppered with houndstooth chairs, tabletops, and wallpaper. As if their constant exploitation of Union Jacks and Royal Air Force Roundels weren't clichéd enough.

Monster's Dirty Underwear

2009-08-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

If you've been boutique hopping around Ballard in Seattle you will have certainly come across a little store called Monster. They specialize in quirky clothing and cute fantasist art. As original as they try to be they too have succumbed to the houndstooth plague. Hence the rancid blue and black trunks in their window. But ya gotta love a store that sells handmade, re-usable, felt coffee cup clutches.

Tori Amos Houndstooth

2009-08-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

Tori Amos, while performing at the Radio City Music Hall last week. The latest celebrity to be captured siding with the enemy pattern.

Candy Induced Houndstooth Decay

2009-08-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

Sarah Klassen's blog Haute Design features a post on the Teen Vogue September 2009 look at the fall and winter houndstooth trend. Apparently we can anticipate lots of "candy coloured" houndstooth weaves. Obviously someone at Teen Vogue isn't paying attention to the fact that candy is bad for developing teeth. These fall trends are going to be an all out war on my fragile sensibilities!

Greg Lotus' Houndstooth Sewer Steam

2009-08-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

Greg Lotus' Vogue Italia August 2009 spread oozes across the page like a steamy, sazerac-soaked fever dream of black lace, whiskey bars, and decaying ballrooms. Why gouge the mood with a shuriken houndstooth jacket?!

Everything But The Cookie

2009-08-09T13:32:00.000-07:00

Mmmmmmmm!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Amber over at SweetAmbs makes beautiful cookies. But hopefully the houndstooth sells miserably and is discontinued. Skulls Amber! We need skulls on our cookies! Or paisley.

Trapped in Houndstooth

2009-08-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

Doesn't this McQueen skeleton look like it's talking on a cell phone?

"Help me! I'm trapped inside a houndstooth!"

At least McQueen's skull graphics are getting better. His last round of skull scarves looked like they belonged in a discount bin at Hot Topic or strung up in some random Camden Market stall. It's embarrassing to think people were paying hundreds of dollars for these.

You can find McQueen's rock-and-roll silk chiffon houndstooth scarf at net-a-porter.com.

R.I.P. John Hughes 1950 - 2009

2009-08-06T16:51:00.000-07:00

Autumn of Houndstooth

2009-08-06T07:04:00.000-07:00

Susannah Frankel of The Independent lists eight of autumn's trends. Number one is houndstooth!! And of course she sites McQueen. I always thought his use of houndstooth was an ironic gesture heralding houndstooth's inevitable demise. But it looks like people took it seriously and its overblown popularity will be with us into next year. Hopefully it dies a frozen death in the wastelands of winter's runways.

McMenamy's Vorticist Malfunction

2009-07-29T21:46:00.001-07:00

Fashion Gone Rogue has alerted us to the July issue of Vogue Italia which contains a feature on Kristen McMenamy. For one photo Steven Meisel shovs her into some houndstooth potato sacks, anti-radiation gloves, and Leigh Bowery hand-me-down boots. She looks like a vorticist's wet dream.

Houndstooth Auditions

2009-07-29T19:01:00.000-07:00

A still from Fabulon, a.k.a. heaven's archives. Dietrich is looking sympathetically at the fashion impaired in their duotone bleakness, and bleeding inside. Streisand is concentrating on balancing a goldfish bowl under her hat while trying not to fart. And the remainder are waiting to audition for the part of "MOST SERIOUS WOMAN #1".

Houndstooth Deconstruction Tees

2009-07-29T14:16:00.000-07:00

Trust Young Lovers to come up with a an all too clever riff on houndstooth. I like this vampire teeth versus houndstooth but everybody has been riffing on houndstooth for some time now (including hatebrand) and it is becoming clichéd and tedious.

A Pig t-shirt over at the Skate Warehouse.

A Burton logo over at Tactics.

Stan Peach tie Tee.

Distilled's houndstooth Spirotee.

And of course the houndstooth queen Gwen Stefani has to have her say with this fading houndstooth LAMB Tee.

And on... and on... and on...

Betsey Johnson Skulls

2009-07-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

From Betsey Johnson's 2009 Fall RTW. We've seen this skull textile in previous Betsey Johnson collections but I love it so!

I must be in a positive mood. That's two back-to-back posts of me actually liking things! Something must be wrong with me! More BJ skulls below. Maybe I'll do Westwood skulls next week. And then Tarina Tarantino skulls the week after that!!