The Good, the Plaid, and the Ugly

Speaking of plaid. It's that fall time of year again when everyone starts talking about the imminent return of plaid.

It's a fine line.

I love Chanel's meticulous plaids. They are always careful to balance the pattern with the distinctive design of the item and its silhouette. These boots have such class and remain completely modern. As close as plaid gets to elegance.


And here's Kristen Stewart's casual plaid with its anti-bling integrity.


Contrast Kristen with Shia, lost and confused in airport security, making his plaid choice look like a desperate cry for taste.


And Beckham as the anti-matter to Shia's street filth.


So there!

Tweed Ride Houndstooth Peek

Vélo Vogue busy keeping up with the San Fran Tweed Ride captures a few incriminating photos of houndstooth among the anachronistic fashions. I love this guy caught sneaking a peek. He's either horrified about the houndstooth skirt or pleasantly surpised by what's under it. Always be suspicious of men in argyle socks!

Houndstooth Beer

You can mess with my tea but do you really have to mess with my beer?! Maybe this is style's way of telling me I have to cut back.

Tori Spelling's Mommywood Houndstooth Curtains

This is not an appropriate environment for a child. And I'm not talking about Tori Spelling or Hollywood. I'm talking about the houndstooth curtains.

Houndstooth's Fall Abundance

Couture Carrie has collected an impressive scrapbook of the coming autumn blitzkrieg. Houndstooth permutation after houndstooth permutation to shake us to the very foundations of good taste. Above is a Peter Jensen number with an obnoxious yellow and grey houndstooth fighting with Mrs. Claus' red skirt. The girl looks like the village idiot dressed as a thrift store Thracian dancer. And not to dwell on McQueen but she's also included his unreasonable leggings for those who want to look like they have a congenital leg deformity. Putting a pattern like that on legs like those is like scrubbing out the Giaconda's smile with steel wool and turpentine.

Preen's Houndstooth Onslaught

Mama's a Rolling Stone had this great collage of Preen's Fall RTW Houndstooth onslaught. My mom ran over a turtle with a tractor lawnmower by accident once. It came out the other end looking quite a lot like one of these dresses. Only with a little more blood. I love the eye makeup on the model wearing the fur collared jacket. She looks like she swallowed a jar of thumbtacks she was so embarrassed to walk the stage in that stupid jacket. These dresses don't even care about the bodies inside them. They are just preposterous strips of houndstooth that derive any attention they receive by the mere fact that they are preposterous strips of houndstooth. It's like being hit over the head with a space shuttle.

Here's another one. Looks like she stepped into the Telepod with Brundelfly and ruined her perfectly nice dress. All this jamming scraps of different sized and patterned houndstooth together is absurd. Just like that crappy McQueen houndstooth hobo sack.

Alexander McQueen Store Display

Fab Sugar captured McQueen's window display during New York's fashion week. I must admit it is quite arresting. The model is shockingly defiant considering the pillow case pinned to her throat, the pustular lips close to bursting, and the sack of rotting garbage precariously balanced on her head. The base of the dress looks like the queen alien's egg sack. God I'd love to torch it with Ripley's grenade gun.

Swirly Houndstooth Cap

And here's Vélo Vogue's guilty Kristin caught in the act with her new houndstooth cap she picked up at Virgin Mary's on her Vancouver vacation. The caps fine... but purple houndstooth! I've seen this swirly houndstooth around town and it's got a bit of a hippy edge to it. Must fight it all the more!!!

Vélo Vogue's Bike Boy Stalker

The stalkers over at Vélo Vogue, "Where the bike lane meets the runway", take candid photographs of rider fashions. And they recently managed to catch a snap of boy with a tan, houndstooth satchel - above. Kristin's going to be attending the SF tweed ride soon and her errand is to pick up some more houndstooth snaps. Or at least some groovy tweed. Good luck Miss bike boy stalker! And don't let anyone tell you taking photos of boys on bikes is creeeeeepy!!! ;)

Dogtooth Style

Terry Richardson in Purple's Fall/Winter 2009. This is how houndstooth spreads.

Alabama Bike Jerseys Rejected

Apparently there are limits to Alabama's insane devotion to the houndstooth pattern. According to The Crimson White these bike jerseys developed for the University's Alabama Cycling Club were rejected by the University trademark office which only allows the combination of houndstooth with the University's iconic "A" logo for football related items. After the mad size of the giant houndstooth hat it's good to know the University isn't about to let things go too far.

Coach Bryant's Infernal Legacy

A shot of the giant houndstooth hat as they prepared to lift it in place above the concession stand at the Bryant-Denny Stadium in Alabama in 2008. What an infernal houndstooth legacy! But the man was sharp. Football's dandy. I just wish he'd been more partial to herringbone.