Houndstooth Nails Part II

A significant majority of the individuals who happen upon my blog do so while researching the words "houndstooth nails" in search engines. As a man this typically female obsession with coloring and patterning your nails seems alien and exotic. Terms like 'stamping', 'polymerization' and 'proximal nail fold', terms that I'm sure are standard in a girl's nail beautifying lexicon, only add to the acute mystery of these ancient female finger rites.

I thought I'd conduct some online research myself and I've come across a few fascinating methods for achieving the houndstooth nail. Obviously the skilled draftsman can painstakingly hand paint the pattern with duotone polish but most sane people would prefer a nail art stamping kit such as the ones made by Konad or Minx which Asami over at My Manicure and Siobhan over at The Nail Phile demonstrate to great effect.


Alternatively you can buy preconfigured houndstooth artificial nails like these japanese style versions at www.ayamisnail.com.



And here is a youtube tutorial on painting your own houndstooth.

And then maybe, just maybe, one day you may even surpass Lee Redmond as the title holder of the world's sexiest nails.


It's a slippery slope. And don't say I didn't warn ya.

Hayden Panettiere in Houndstooth

Back in January justjared.com nabbed pics of Hayden Panattiere catching a flight out from Washington D.C. in full on cookies-and-cream houndstooth. I'm not going to knock her for the fashion blunder because she's good to the dolphins and that gives her every right to wear a jacket shaped like a diving bell. Eeeeeep! Someone contact the anti-dolphin league!!!

Houndstooth Car

Over the years, as the tide of houndstooth's popularity swells and ebbs, many designers exploit it for a variety of disturbing applications. You can actually find houndstooth as factory standards in early Camaros and BMW interiors and the misguided tradition continues with the Korean manufacturer Kia. Introducing the 2010 Kia Soul. Options include houndstooth body graphics and houndstooth cloth seats. Puke.

Houndstooth Massacre

Stephen Walker's online portfolio includes 40 million pixels of houndstooth in "A study in scale and pattern" of which the above is only a tiny fragment. It looks like he took a betsy johnson sweater, dragged it through tar sands, and then shredded it with a machete. That's just a guess based on what I would do with a houndstooth sweater. Who loves ya baby?

Houndstooth to the Dogs

Interesting houndstooth item on display at the Pennsylvania Guild of Craftsmen's "Thread Count" exhibit. From an article by Clausia W. Esbenshade on the Lancaster Online:

One of the more unusual pieces in the exhibit may require a second glance. The beige and chocolate woven scarf created by Amy Turner of Doylestown uses spun hair from Bernese mountain dogs and Golden Retrievers. The classic houndstooth twill woven scarf, appropriately named "Paws for Consideration," is the result of many hours of work and measures about 75 inches in length. "(The hair is) the undercoat of the dog, so the softness is amazing," Turner said. "I do clean it with some lemon juice to eliminate any doggie smell."

She could also try bleaching it.

Lagerfeld's Folly

The Kaiser's Fitting Room Follies offers a brief glimpse of Lara Stone in houndstooth. The Chanel art-house promo reminds me of some of Warhol's messier ramblings with film and is shockingly unsexy for a fitting room romp. Alas, I still love everything he does. Especially the way DJ Karl says "squeeeeeze" on K109 in GTAIV and the way he clutches his collar in the pseudo warhol screentest by Jeremy Kost. If only he'd speak out about houndstooth as agressively as he spoke out about weighty milanese.

The Trouble With Barbie

I've jumped 100% behind Lincoln County's Democratic Delegate Jeff Eldridge's proposed bill to ban Barbie in West Virginia. Damn right to his statement that "such toys influence girls to place too much importance on physical beauty, at the expense of their intellectual and emotional development". But that's not really what sold me on it. It's this latest Barbie birthday campaign where stores like the Bay in Toronto have devoted entire sections of their women's clothing floor to human sized dresses and t-shirts poxed in houndstooth and Barbie logos. And to make matters worse, these little boutique areas are all wallpapered in stylish houndstooth mutations fashioned from silhouettes of high heels and cameo profiles. And Jeff, good luck fighting the toy lobby groups which basically run America. You and I both know it's as hopeless as me convincing the Color Association to eliminate all forms of duotone forecasts.

The only good thing to come out of the recent Barbie hype is Gareth Pugh's Ken doll which you can read more about on Steve and EJ's Style Salvage blog.

Second Life Houndstooth

The houndstooth virus went digital some time ago as these images of Second Life avatars, culled from the husk of the dead blog SLfashionSOS, reveal. Do people actually obsess about houndstooth enough to perpetuate it in their online lives?! Go figure. Ooooooops!

Houndstooth Cartoon

Cartoonstock.com had this cartoon which I think sums me up perfectly, n'est-ce pas?

Paris Hilton Houndstooth

Another dolly dressed in houndstooth. Paris Hilton, circa 2007.