McQueen's Houndstooth Hobo Sack

As usual The Purse Blog is dead on with this assessment of the Alexander McQueen houndstooth tote:

"I understand the intent behind this bag, and it’s brave of designers to try and play with pattern and proportion in avant garde ways. Just because it’s brave doesn’t mean it works"

This sack should be on the end of a long stick over the shoulder of a hobo nomad. It looks like it has been crafted entirely from the shreds of inner jacket linings found at the scene of several catastrophic highway collisions. It's a rag doll of a bag desperately following that McQueen Fall/Winter 2009 RTW junk pile thesis. It shoots straight from the tip.

Juicy Couture's Bacon Bag

The Juicy Couture Narda Houndstooth Bag. Tethered strips of brown bacon that form crude houndstooth silhouettes evoking the sepulchral craftwork and dead skin masks of serial killer Ed Gein. I admit there is a striking and admirable ingenuity to this bag and its carefully controlled colour palette of compressed jerky dog treats and stale excrement, but I think we can find you something better for carrying your tampons and cocaine. The Purse Blog also shows a more springy version in weathered bone and corpse pallor shades.

Valentino Vomit Sack

Amanda Mull over at The Purse Blog is right on! to target this Valentino vomit sack for a beating. And it is not only the houndstooth I'm worried about here. The bag looks like a filled diaper pinched with a massive PVC binder clip. It looks like something you'd find bursting with bloody gauze, tumors, and cataracts in the dumpster of a veterinarian clinic. And that would be too good for it!