Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ashlee Simpson Does Houndstooth

Another Ashlee robed in fashion's scabies. This is not the first times she's been tracked in the enemy pattern. For a further barrage of celeb houndstooth visit Fashion In Motion's blog entry on the houndstooth trend. More houndstooth than you can chuck a molotov cocktail at.

And then buy me this hot Ben Sherman tie and jacket also profiled on the blog. Do eeeet!

Ashley Greene Does Houndstooth

Twlight's Alice leaving LAX wrapped in a rug-like houndstooth sweater with a better dressed boyfriend in hand.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Portable Drying Rack

The blog You Want Me To Wear What? killed a certain Patterson J. Kincaid Houndstooth Print "Jenny" Dress calling it a blanket of repurposed houndstooth scarves. It's nice to see someone else heckling houndstooth for a change. If you want to look like you are wearing the entrails of a parrotfish this portable drying rack dress is available at bloomingdale's for $128.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Kitty's Worst Nightmare

As if being photographed with a wig wasn't humiliating enough for a cat. While modelling for the new book Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs they force this sad cat to wear a houndstooth deerstalker.

Revenge will be sweet.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Rihanna's Houndsooth

A CNN "style evolution" profile of Rihanna's transition from cute schoolgirl to sultry sex bomb includes a houndstooth photo from a 2006 Mets game. And below is a photo of her channeling Brando in a houndstooth biker jacket. And... wait a minute! She's wearing my Dad's watch!

And she continues to love the houndstooth trend with her advice to women in a More! Magazine interview: “This winter I am loving houndstooth, lace, silk. I would say always wear some sexy lingerie under your clothes".

You can stand under my umbrella... of shame!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Houndstooth Holiday Gift

This morning I received a holiday gift from my tailor. The irony. I feel the walls closing in. It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. All these people trying to seed me with the enemy pattern. Trying to make me join fashion's borg.

"Look, you fools, you're in danger! Can't you see?! They're after you! They're after all of us! Our wives, our children, everyone! THEY'RE HERE, ALREADY! YOU'RE NEXT!"

Friday, December 11, 2009

Houndstooth Face Off

The Allie is Wired blog has a fashion face off between Penelope Cruz and Dita von Teese. Neither wins. This McQueen dress looks like it's cut from a picnic tablecloth. Bring on the potato salad and the KFC 20 piece bucket of dirty bird.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Gossip Girl Houndstooth Falter

New York Mag's ongoing tracking of Gossip Girl includes a good chip at Blair Waldorf's McQueen houndstooth top in Season 3 Episode 12 calling it "two years and a continent too late."

And then FabSugar has to go ahead and celebrate it.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Great Houndstooth Conspiracy

The internet is awash in twisted thoughts on about every single thing that a human being can possibly imagine. These radical ideas can copulate to produce hideous theories and malformations such as this blog. Often in this war effort against the growing menace of houndstooth I feel like a voice in the wilderness who cries out in vain. So it is always nice to touch base with other individuals out there who have independently come to similar conclusions about the enemy pattern.

A comrade-in-arms over at is also just as confused about the houndstooth plague and promotes a stunning new theory regarding its otherworldy origins. Behold The Great Houndstooth Conspiracy

We've seen his subversions before in a post several months back and it is good to see he is still actively chipping away a the foundations of the houndstooth empire.

My theory on houndstooth is a little bit different though. I believe that through particle collision research at CERN, just before being engulfed in a black hole of our own creation, we will discover the Higgs boson scalar elementary particle is shaped like houndstooth. As we are all stretched and shattered into a trillion tiny pieces and sucked through the gaping maw of oblivion people will have just a fraction of a second to flash the thought "Why didn't we listen to the anti-houndstooth warning!" before being redistributed in the great stew of the infinite cosmos.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Houndstooth Furnishings

I move into a new apartment this weekend so I've been busy investigating furniture and interior design ideas. It seems every store has at least one token houndstooth item. Design Hole (somehow that sounds dirty) is a handy interior design blog that happens to feature a houndstooth resource page with hints on where to find houndstooth furniture.

What I can't get over is the diversity of houndstooth items out there. Take this unfortunate houndstooth zebra rug by Jonathan Adler. More cruel than the real deal.

And this hideous lamp from Bed Bath & Beyond whose colors safely match your apartment's used wound dressings. Shudder!

Some people have commented that my distate for houndstooth hides a deep fetish for the pattern and that I will eventually fill my apartment with houndstooth related items. If so it is this sick world that drove me to it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Dita Von Teese Houndstooth

Dita Von Teese does the full houndstooth deal circa September 2007. I've always been a bit cautious regarding her style. She's like a porcelain doll you find in a grandmother's house. Pale, artificial and somehow asexual. Even when she's stripping. It's like she's made of chalk.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Dustin Curtis Coach Bryant

A fantastic oil of Coach Bryant and his houndstooth fedora by the artist Dustin Curtis.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Kim Kardashian Houndstooth

Another celeb documented in the enemy pattern. Kim Kardashian does a houndstooth scarf. Circa September 2008.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Vivienne Westwood Anglomania Selfridges Show

Selfridges garage played host to Vivienne Westwood's Anglomania fashion show yesterday. The Dame was snapped beside a houndstooth infested Nicola Roberts.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Kristian Donaldson Houndstooth

Kristian Donaldson is an illustrator who blogs over at ProdigalNine. He's responsible for some pretty sexy comic work including stuff in DMZ and Fallen Angel. His illustration is brilliant so I'm sure he'll eventually come to terms with his houndstooth follies and reject the pattern completely. But for now we'll have to put up with it as it's splashed all over his website's banner. Have mercy Kristian!

Bugatti Bungle

There's only one thing I hate more than houndstooth. And that would be crashing my $2 million dollar bugatti in a saltwater lagoon.

And now there is video of the crash.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dead and Buried

Those still wearing houndstooth are dead to fashion. But if you must you can still buy it at West Side Lacrosse.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Sketch of a Houndstooth Sophisticate

Cuppycakegumdrops over on Etsy put together some nice little instructions on concocting a houndstooth wardrobe. I just like her drawing of the houndstooth sophisticate. Especially the beagle which at first I thought was crying. She does profile a cute "catstooth" tie by Toybreaker though. Hundreds of tiny waving cats make up the houndstooth.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Emanuel Ungaro on Lyndsay Lohan

More sadness for this Lohan fan. Emanuel Ungaro has spoken out about her repulsive collection for the Ungaro house calling it "a disaster" and stating the company he sold in 2005 was “well on its way to losing its soul". More at . Lyndsay, time to feed him some Kalteen bars!

Houndstooth Stripper

Houndstooth has even infiltrated the stripper scene! Is nothing sacred! God's best argument against the burka here wearing a houndstooth exotic mini and top from the "Hussy Store".

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Pakistan Fashion Week

In what was described as a "gesture of defiance to the Taliban" the city of Karachi managed to kick off the first ever Pakistan Fashion Week which had already been rescheduled twice due to fear of fundamentalist threats. No sign of houndstooth which can only indicate a success!

Friday, October 30, 2009

McQueen's Fall Ad

I'm waiting for Meg White to suddenly zoom in from the centre.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Houndstooth Mafia

One from the archives. A houndstooth Bugsy Siegel plotting your hit.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Blake Lively Does Houndstooth


So much for my crush on Blake Lively.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Alexander McQueen's Supervillain Costumes

This McQueen jacket, as wicked as it is, could just as well have been peppered in ampersands or right and left braces. He's skating dangerously close to Riddler territory.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Kid Robot Houndstooth Tees

I followed up on those Kid Robot tees after accidentaly running in to them at Boys Co. in 'couver. It was a bizarre shocker to find them in a store that used to carry John Richmond and K. But now you can have a houndstooth t-shirt to wear when playing with your Kid Robot dinky toys.

Desperate Hound

You can tell by the desperation in its eyes that this hound is no fan of its houndstooth harness.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

J'Accuse Chicago!

More pics coming in from the rampant houndstooth plague sweeping across Chicago's fashion community. A deadly pox that exhibits a festering mesh of four-pointed-shapes and fractured checks. As these two pictures sent in by a very concerned anti-houndstooth advocate indicate, the patterned pustules can occur anywhere on the human body including the hips, thighs, and the throat. Do not approach the infected. There is nothing you can do to help them. They are lost to you. Simply raise your hand and block them from your site.

Junya Watanabe Gets In On The Houndstooth Action

Another success at Paris fashion week has all the critics raving and stampeding to celebrate the Junya Watanabe's Spring/Summer 2010 collection. All I see is a hideous series of outfits for mimes. The above as an example with its houndstooth jacket and mummified toddler for a hat!?! She looks like she's on her way to a Dr. Who convention or a dadaist's ball.

Since houndstooth has received the blessings of Watanabe and Gaultier in Paris it looks like houndstooth will continue to dominate 'til Spring/Summer 2010! I think sooo much is invested in the pattern now we are in a cycle of perpetuation from which we may never be freed.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

R.I.P. Lindsay Lohan

R.I.P. Lindsay Lohan.

July 2nd, 1986 to Emmanuel Ungaro Show, Spring/Summer 2010.

Even Army & Navy wouldn't touch this collection. I hope this means a possible sequel to I KNOW WHO KILLED ME is in the works. It's one of my all time favorite WTF! movies.

Lindsay, it's not you babe. It's just the curse of your houndstooth follies. Repent and be forgiven.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Anna Sui's Houndstooth Jacquard Dress

Anna Sui's kickass "Gossip Girl" inspired line for Target includes, alas, houndstooth. I'm on the fence. But I can possibly stomach the houndstooth in this number because I find Sui's opium den stylings such a turn on. The front is awesome with its shades of Japanese Goth Lolita but by the time Sui gets to the back of the dress it looks like the inspired design has exhausted itself. You get a somewhat boxy and dull shoulder and waist akin to a kit Halloween costume and the polyester/rayon material looks like it lacks a bit of class. But it's only $69 bucks!!! I'll take two.

Kid Robot Chicago Museum of Art

Houndstooth's desperate attempt to penetrate the membrane of the high art world. Someone just sent in this Kid Robot tee hanging on the rack in the Chicago Museum of Contemporary Art's gift shop. Plus a houndstooth umbrella for sale. Houndstooth trying to sneak its way in past the Magrittes and Redons? No dice!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Houndstooth in the Real World

An astounding houndstooth combo including polka dots and tiger stripes courtesy of the Second Life fashion blog It's Only Fashion. It's far better than a Master Chief Halo hoodie from Ecko. I wonder how resistant that hoodie is to a Covenant Carbine. I bet it goes up in flames. I'd rather wear the houndstooth and stripes to an off-world battlefield.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Halloween Houndstooth

Old Navy orange and black flip flops. Are we going to see this color houndstooth creeping up just in time for halloween?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Good, the Plaid, and the Ugly

Speaking of plaid. It's that fall time of year again when everyone starts talking about the imminent return of plaid.

It's a fine line.

I love Chanel's meticulous plaids. They are always careful to balance the pattern with the distinctive design of the item and its silhouette. These boots have such class and remain completely modern. As close as plaid gets to elegance.

And here's Kristen Stewart's casual plaid with its anti-bling integrity.

Contrast Kristen with Shia, lost and confused in airport security, making his plaid choice look like a desperate cry for taste.

And Beckham as the anti-matter to Shia's street filth.

So there!